And I wish for the power of speech. After all these years of poking, petting, and gawking -- I need to vent -- vocally. You can only stamp your foot and shake your ponycorn head up and down so many times before you start to feel like a complete dick. Plus, it's really hard to order a pizza that way, it can be done. Trust me.
I had to type this blog with my horn. It took two hours. This shit is for the birds.