I knew Shelly worked really hard on it but I couldn't bring myself to even slice it. I just let it sit in the fridge for two weeks before I finally threw it out. I haven't to spoken to her since.
People have a hard time believing a man can be afraid of baked goods but it's true. They scare me. Everytime I walk into a coffee shop I have to avert my eyes and pretend to play it cool. If they ask if I want a pastry I say I have a gluten intolerance. The rise of people paying attention and respecting food intolerances has been a Godsend. It nips it right in the bud. Still, it sucks being the guy at the birthday party that doesn't even want a small slice.
I haven't had a sandwich since I was four. I once put a scone in my mouth in college because I was drunk. I then proceeded to projectile vomit. My friends thought it was the tequila. I never told them the truth.
I never tell anyone. I prefer to lie.