Heather waits.
HEATHER: So I broke things off completely with Bill. It was hard. I did it last week during lunch at Wendy's. I thought being in public would keep emotional outbursts to a minimum but I was wrong. He wept in his fries, like a baby. Kept asking me what he did wrong. I told him, "Bill, I had no intention of turning this into a relationship." He said, "I wish you would of told me that before I left my family." He didn't say it in an angry way like one might expect. His tone was more gee whiz, like Beaver Clever. I'm not trying to make fun of him or bring him down. Honestly, this is probably the best thing that could have happened to him. I'm no prize. I know it. For the last few years I've made it a point to only get involved with men who have nothing to offer. It cuts down on disappointment. Seriously, it makes me feel better. I used to feel bad about it. I used to feel like something was wrong with me because I didn't want to share my life with someone. I used to feel lots of things but then I stopped. Guess what? I'm a selfish person who doesn't want to compromise. There's no room in my life for someone who needs. I'm screwed up enough as it is. I am what I refer to as emotionally unavailable. Still, I feel a little guilty. I guess that's why I told Bill I'd help him out. He's moving into my building. NOT WITH ME. NOT ON MY FLOOR. I mean come on. I'm not a total bitch. Seriously, there's nothing more pathetic than finding the middle aged man from your office that you were having sex with in the supply closet sleeping in that same supply closet because he has no place else to go. So, you know, now we can carpool and have dinner sometimes maybe rent a video. I don't know. (Heather's phone rings.) Yeah, I'm in the parking lot across the street. No across the street, Bill. Yeah, uh-huh. (She hangs up.) I don't want people to see us together.