Heather sits on the toilet.
I really have to get rid of Bill. He wants to see me this weekend. His wife's going to the Sami Show and he wants to meet up after he drops her off. Just what I want, to blow a chubby middle aged man in the back seat of his Subaru while his wife shops for unique arts and crafts. I knew it was a bad idea to start something with him in the first place. I don't know what I was thinking humping him a second time...and the third time. I suppose this qualifies as shitting where I eat. Goddamnit. This morning there were a dozen roses outside my apartment door. I didn't see them until it was too late and I kicked over the vase. It broke and I ended up sweeping the whole mess into the garbage. I hate roses. They're so...junior high. I didn't even read the card. I couldn't bear to. He's probably falling in love with me because I'm paying so much attention to him. And by paying attention to him I mean shtupping him in the supply closet while thinking about George Clooney. I think it's time for Paulo to come back into my life. Paulo's the handy man in my building. He went with me to my cousin Shelly's wedding with me last year. No, I haven't had sex with him...he's gay. He's also willing to help me out because his green card is fake and I know it...I helped him get it. Oh, Bill.